My Christmas Solstice Baby's Birth Story
Originally posted on 21 December 2022
2021 was about to end when I became a mother for the second time.
21.12.21 was the day that my daughter Safiya Sabah decided to join us earthside.
Solistice baby, Christmas gift, special in every way.
She wasn’t “4 days late”, she chose us, chose her name and chose the day and the way she entered this world.
This is the story of her birthday.
As with her brother Ziad, Safiya was the fruit of a conscious conception which we prepared for by detoxing and meditating. Before her conception, my husband and I both felt a feminine energy whenever we meditated on the subject of inviting a new soul to join us.
After I got pregnant, this feeling remained in the weeks leading up to the 20 week-mark of the anatomy scan which confirmed it was a girl we were expecting. On our drive back home, we started discussing the little list of girls’ names we had. The name Safiya wasn’t among them. We kind of got to it through our discussion and decided it was the one for her. Then when I told my parents about it, my dad revealed that Safiya was the name of one of his aunts. The name existed in the family, and I had no idea! I knew aunty existed, I knew of her and hadn’t met her. However, I knew her as Emm Rimón (the mother of Raymond) as parents traditionally tend to be called after their 1st born boy and people would eventually forget their actual first name, especially the mums’ names (I’d be called Emm Ziad for example). So not only did our baby Safiya choose us, she chose her name too!
And what does her name mean? The CHOSEN ONE!
In Arabic, we have multiple synonyms to describe how close a relationship one has with a friend, the highest being Soulmate. The second is the Chosen One – Safiy صَفيّ in masculine and Safiya صَفِيّة feminine. God’s beloved devotees and saints are also called As-sfiya' Allah أصفِياء الله.
In general, I enjoyed being pregnant. This pregnancy, I had to make an effort to maintain my mental health while navigating being in and out of lockdowns, with the last one being about 13 weeks i.e. 1 pregnancy trimester-long. That, the news of it, the news from the deteriorating economic situation in Lebanon, in addition to winter were too much to take on many days. Thus, I avoided the news updates and started learning to crochet and practicing prenatal yoga almost daily to keep myself grounded and connect with my baby. I also took a hypnobirthing course with Duna Abou Jaoudeh in preparation and started playing the scripts for all of us before we went to sleep every night, as of 36 weeks. I booked a pregnancy photoshoot that included my son for my 37 weeks.
My Christmas Solstice Baby's
Birth Story
We were just emerging from that lockdown, and I made a point to take my son out for weekly group playdates and to as many activities as I could fit in before baby sister showed up. We also moved to a rental house, closer to town, which I quickly populated with Christmas decorations and birth affirmations.
I also continued to have weekly chiropractic adjustments, the last being on Monday, 20th December. On Tuesday 21st, we were on our weekly group playdate at a local playground, then went to another one that had a water feature, and which was close to the house we were renting. The boys played in the sun while I sat down in the shade under the trees. I wasn’t having any contractions, yet I intuitively started doing some seated yoga stretches the whole time we were there. We had a snack then decided to go home, get some rest then go for a walk at a nearby park before dinner. I did the dishes, did one last stretch downwards that relieved the weight off my pelvis, and laid down for a nap. I was drifting into sleep when I felt I got punched on the inside of my belly.
Not a kick, a true boxing punch.
I get up to find I had a bloody show, 5.55pm. “It’s about to kick in” I thought, and I message my sisters-in-law and our cousin midwife, Annabel for heads-up. I start having mild sporadic contractions, so I sit on my Swiss ball bouncing and my son joins me. My surges start picking up and I ask my husband to call his sister to come get our son to spend the night at hers and call Annabel to join us.
It’s 7.00pm. I decide to have a warm shower and I give myself and baby Safiya a pep talk.
My son kisses me and reassures me that he loves me and leaves with his aunty Yazzie as Annabel walks into the bathroom.
She asks how I’m doing. I tell her my surges are about a couple minutes apart. I wasn’t timing them. She washes her hands to start getting things ready, when I have another surge. She tells me: “this was less than a couple minutes, it’s about a minute. If you want your midwife to make it on time, I suggest you call her now” so I do and briefly say: “I think I’m gonna be pushing soon”. 7.07pm. “I’m on my way”, she replies.
Annabel helps my husband set up the birthing pool and I hop in as it’s filling up, commenting on how hot or cold the water it is as I am labouring.
My midwife arrives at around 7.20pm and I am already bearing down and pushing. My second midwife arrives soon after, she’s come to attend even though she’s on holiday. My hypnobirthing records were playing in the background. I smile and sing to Safiya as I ride the surges.All three wisemomen give me space and encourage me with the calmest gentlest voices.
Safiya is born at 7.43pm. My active labour with her was just under 1 hour. She presents with a nuchal cord; a midwife helps me remove it. My baby girl works efficiently to cough out the fluid from her airway and latches on to the breast soon after, while we are still in the pool – maybe within the first 30’.
The placenta takes longer this time around. I decline the synthetic oxcytocin offered to manage the 3rd stage of labour and birth it naturally, 1 hour after my baby. We delay cord clamping for a good while afterwards then my husband cuts it. I had decided not to have stitches this time in case of a 1st or 2nd degree perineal tear. There's no tearing to be stitched at all!
Safiya’s gestation and transition to the world have taught me (again) that there is strength in surrender, and that trust in our innate womban wisdom is crucial.
It is a call for the need to learn to dig deep into our self and reconnect to this wisdom, muting all the fear-mongering and manipulating noise we are prone to be exposed to in today’s world.
